December 05, 2019
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I must be feeling a deep sense of unworthiness with my body. In the last month, I became aware that when I remembered what had happened, I also revisited the moments where I was hopeless, trapped and made to feel as though I am the one that is doing something gravely wrong. 


I want to be seen and what that means is that I want to feel celebrated for my choices, be encouraged, be protected and be cared for, so that I can continuously be whole and be just me, without needing to over-explain or be hyper-vigilant about betrayals of my vulnerabilities. 


我總是覺得
自己的身體
是累贅
經過了這麼多事情
卻只能害怕
自己沒人愛
為何想被愛
的感覺
如此
可怕呢？


想被愛，被寵，
讓心愛的人能和我
牽著手
牽著心
慢慢走
這人生的旅程


這身體經過了那麼多
只想休息
讓愛人用愛心和體貼
來溫暖心裏
冷卻的
心房


被愛的幻想
是從心裏
畫出來的 
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